http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCrn1LDDoRc&NR=1
I still get letters in the mail, mostly from cracked-up
men in tiny rooms with factory jobs or no jobs who are
living with whores or no woman at all, no hope, just
booze and madness.
Most of their letters are on lined paper
written with an unsharpened pencil
or in ink
in tiny handwriting that slants to the
left
and the paper is often torn
usually halfway up the middle
and they say they like my stuff,
I've written from where it's at, and
they recognize that. truly, I've given them a second
chance, some recognition of where they're at.
it's true, I was there, worse off than most
of them.
but I wonder if they realize where their letters
arrive?
well, they are dropped into a box
behind a six-foot hedge with a long driveway leading
to a two car garage, rose garden, fruit trees,
animals, a beautiful woman, mortgage about half
paid after a year, a new car,fireplace and a green rug two-inches thick
with a young boy to write my stuff now,
I keep him in a ten-foot cage with a
typewriter, feed him whiskey and raw whores,
belt him pretty good three or four times
a week.
I'm 59 years old now and the critics say
my stuff is getting better than ever.
5 comentários:
Dos amigos do álcool
[Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl’s clothes off.]
Raymond Chandler
[After a month’s sobriety my faculties became unbearably acute and I found myself unhealthily clairvoyant, having insights into places I’d as soon not journey to. Unlike some men, I had never drunk for boldness or charm or wit; I had used alcohol for precisely what it was, a depressant to check the mental exhilaration produced by extended sobriety.]
Frederick Exley
[Drinking is an emotional thing. It joggles you out of the standardism of everyday life, out of everything being the same. It yanks you out of your body and your mind and throws you against the wall. I have the feeling that drinking is a form of suicide where you’re allowed to return to life and begin all over the next day. It’s like killing yourself, and then you’re reborn. I guess I’ve lived about ten or fifteen thousand lives now.]
Charles Bukowski
...
[After a month’s sobriety my faculties became unbearably acute and I found myself unhealthily clairvoyant, having insights into places I’d as soon not journey to. Unlike some men, I had never drunk for boldness or charm or wit; I had used alcohol for precisely what it was, a depressant to check the mental exhilaration produced by extended sobriety.]
Foram esses os motivos que me levaram a deixar temporariamente de meditar quando voltei a Bruxelas depois dos dois anos no Brasil. A meditacao tornava tudo tao claro, tao triste e autoritariamente claro, tao burocraticamente claro, tao racional e frigidamente claro, que eu pensei: Ou deixo de meditar e volto a ser o serezinho que era antes, ou dou em doida e isolo-me, ou abandono tudo e torno-me hippie, procando uma avalanche de ira dos meus familiares e amigos que tantas espectativas tinham em relacao a mim.
Foi a maior asneira que eu fiz, e que estou a corrigir.
Ana Margarida, princesa,
Quer explicar melhor?
Uma vez experimentada a meditação, como se pode abandonar?...por um exercício da vontade?...
Pelo desejo de nao enlouquecer, e de me sentir "integrada" num meio ao qual eu tinha a ilusao de querer pertencer, e cujos "esqueletos no armario" e mecanismos muito subtis de regimentacao e exclusao com base em "maneiras" e "gostos" de base classista a meditacao tornava tao evidente.
Pertencer a esse meio foi algo pelo qual eu litei arduamente desde a adolescencia. Por tudo em causa seri, acima de tudo, por em causa os sacrificios que fiz, as "benesses" economicas e o "status" social que adquiri e que eram tao valorizados, principalmente pelas pessoas que mais amava. Sim, era tambem, e principalmente, por em causa as pessoas que eu mais amava, e a satisfacao das expectativas que tinham em relacao a minha pessoa.
Por isso, posso dizer que sim, que foi um acto de vontade. uma cto que me custou muito, pois nada se compara ao nectar divino da meditacao ... E ao caos que ela induz nas nossas vidas ...
Nota: Vou recomecar a meditar.
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